Going Teacher

Recently a fellow teacher was telling me about how she had to "go teacher" on some kid. This is a common problem among educators. We are expected to maintain safe learning environments, which translates into having a good discipline plan to maintain order. So when you have taken classes, actual classes, on classroom management, it's difficult to let crazy moments go. Anywhere.
My friend's moment involved a boy who proceeded to use the self-serve condiment station at Chick-Fil-A after having his hand down the back of his pants - inside his underwear. So. Gross.
My own experiences are too numerous to count: unattended children in the movies, unattended children on playgrounds, unattended children in Barnes and Noble, unattended children in 7-11 (are we seeing a pattern here, people?). Some are minor incidents. You're five and the youngest in your family. I get it. No one has taught you that it's not okay to push smaller children out of the way to get to the slide because in your home you are the smallest. I can gently explain why that's not okay. Simple. But, dude, you're 12. Do you really think it's okay to fill your free Slurpee cup up with Sprite? Do you want your little brother here to know that stealing is okay? Seriously? That's right ... look sheepish and dump it out ... then say that you're sorry.
I don't always "go teacher." I do manage to hold it in when the children are attended by an adult because if the adults are fine with their childrens's behavior, and they are not embarrassed, then more power to them. However, I have had to "go teacher" on an adult who was allowing the six children she brought to the movie theatre to run rampant and speak in normal I'm-not-watching-a-movie-right-now tones. Not only did she place the children right next to me in the nearly vacant theatre, she answered their at-volume questions with at-volume answers. Do you realize I paid for this movie, too, and I'd like to listen to that dialogue, not yours? So no, you and your charges may not behave this way. Period. Non-negotiable. They got quiet, but she did give me dirty looks every time she had to shush a child. I know, I know ... I'm mean. I guess I should work on that at some point.
Am I proud of my behavior? Absolutely not. Because while it's nice to have that right-the-wrong confidence, it's annoying that I can't let anything go. It's exhausting keeping up with my own children while getting onto others, especially when those others are terrorizing my kids. It would be nice to go out and ignore the problems I see, but I just can't. Being a teacher has ruined me in that respect. Permanently.
So send the children, all of them, unattended into public. I can almost guarantee that there will be a someone there who will step up and "go teacher" on them when they are acting crazy. We just can't help ourselves.