The Professionals Keep My Family Together

There are two things I know I could never do: be a stay at home mom and/or a home school teacher.

I realize that true stay at home moms have schedules, and they have their kids in activities, and they plan things to do with their kids to keep everyone from going crazy. This is in direct contrast to the helter-skelterness of summer at home with my kids. I rarely have anything planned in advance ... we just do what we do when we do it ... so we spend a lot of time bored and driving each other to distraction. This is because I am too lazy to "make plans." I spend all year planning lessons down to the smallest of details, so I really just want to stare at walls during the summer ... and read Young Adult novels ... which is a whole other post.

My second item is really about being allowed to keep my own children. I get insanely frustrated when I am trying to teach my own kids something because I know them. I know what my kids are capable of, so I get frustrated when they wont't focus and do it. I know when my kids are rushing through something because they want to go watch TV or whatever, so I get frustrated they aren't taking it seriously. Then I'm using a stern voice, and they are crying, and I'm telling them to just do it, and no one is having any fun, and now they hate school and learning. And I'm sure turning my own children off of learning goes against some teacher-like Hippocratic oath I had to take my first year teaching, resulting in the immediate revocation of my teaching certificate. Then we all starve and lose the house and CPS takes my kids away. Lovely.

I know my limits. I can put up with 120 14-year-old crazies in the midst of hormone changes and middle school drama. I can have (nearly) endless patience for their questions and their comments and their attempts to throw the entire class off-task. But when it comes to my own kids, I am a mess. So I leave it to the professionals to teach them the academic stuff and keep them entertained during the 9 1/2 months that are the school year. It's the least I can do for my family.

The Silver Lining

At this very moment, one of my children is about to be in trouble. They tag-team it, you know? The boy will be doing something crazy, and just as I get him situated, the girl will start in, and then the boy revs back up just as I get the girl's eyes realigned from the eye-roll she thought I couldn't see. In fact, from the time they recover from the post-nap zone-out until they fall asleep, I feel like I am a crazy, obnoxious mom, getting onto them in a continuous stream of correcting and negativity. It's not a good feeling. Is it me? Is it them? Is it the time of day?

My theory is twofold: 1) they are going stir crazy. It's hot here ... SPF 600 hot. We spend a lot of time indoors (which means at home because this is a house of educators so we do things on a budget) looking at each other and wishing it was cooler. 2) We spend so much time together that we start to lose an appreciation for being together.

I try to address the first problem with movies, crafts, games, music, trips to the park before it gets too hot, etc., but we can only do so much together before someone ignites a flame of annoyance and no one is happy. I hate it when they have been inside all day, and the indoors gets rowdy, but I try to be a little loose on the rules as I know they are bored. Of course, it's all fun and games until someone gets their hand slammed in the door or body-checked into the wall. Incidents like that happen almost daily, and make rough endings for days that started off pretty smoothly.

Really the only way to address the second problem is to spend time apart, and that happens when school starts up again in two weeks. My husband and I will be away from our kids all day, so we can appreciate them and all their little crazies. The girl will get a chance to interact with other kids as she is starting kindergarten, and that socialization is something that she desperately needs. The boy will get time with his cousin and his Meemaw, and time away from his sister which is always good ... it goes back to the appreciation thing. 

School starting will save the sanity of everyone. While the hubs and I will miss my kids ... A LOT ... when we go back, each of us will have something to do to keep us occupied, and we can better appreciate how blessed we are to be a family. Even if I'm not ready to go back and work, I am ready for that part of going back to school.

The School Supply Test

My oldest is starting kindergarten this year, so I am venturing into the land of school supplies. Holy cow, people! Holy. Cow.

I picked up my kid's school supply list, and about fell over. In addition to the pencils and glue I remember, I need three different types of construction paper in multiple sizes for each, Ziploc baggies, and hand sanitizer. These are the three things that I cannot wrap my mind around.

Let's start with the construction paper, shall we? I understand that small children need construction paper, and lots of it, but the variety is killing me. Is it too simple for me to just buy construction paper ... normal sized? I didn't even know that there were that many sizes of construction paper. Does 12x20 even exist? It's enough to make me crazy! I shouldn't have to go to an art supply store to get supplies for my kindergartner. Maybe it's a test for me as a parent. Like, if I actually track all this stuff down, do they know I'll be a sucker for putting together flip books or prepping egg cartons for a ladybug craft or something? "Hey, Sharon, this mom found everything! Even the impossible it's-only-available-from-Europe-on-special-order 12x20 inch multi-colored construction paper which includes the hard-to-find magenta paper! Call her ... we need 100 dozen gluten-free, nut-free cookies for our back-to-school bash .. tomorrow!" Ugh ... maybe I should lower the bar just a little. I'm onto your trick, kindergarten teachers, and I'm not falling for it. You'll get your paper, but it will be a slightly off 12x18 instead. That way you'll know that I'm willing to help out, but not on an Overachieving Mom level.

Next up ...Ziplock baggies. I'm very confused by this one. Maybe an elementary teacher can clue me in because while I understand needing a box or two for the year, why in the world do you need 20 boxes? What could you possibly be planning to do with that many gallon-sized Ziplock bags? I'm trying to come up with a list of things, but I've only been able to think of one: you are going to send home the students' crafts all nestled in a protective barrier. I'll tell ya' what ... my kid won't bring bags, and I'll sign a waiver recognizing that there may be some collateral damage to her crafts projects between the classroom and my car ... crushing incidents, leaking thermos, rips ... I'll risk it.

Finally, hand sanitizer. I recognize that kids are gross, messy, sticky, dirty, germy creatures. I have two of them ... they are disgusting, and I can only imagine what horrors they are carrying around on their nasty little hands. I understand the need to own copious amounts of anything anti-bacterial with all those icky kids running around. But 40 bottles?!?! You need 40 bottles? I'm thinking 5 for the year. Put out a call to PTA or give a list of "a few extra things I wish I had" to the parents at meet the teacher night. I'll be one of five parents who gets you a big ol' bottle, but I'm a little weirded out by the 40 bottles you want. What, exactly, are you planning on doing - bathing the kids in it? It's a little disturbing.

I've looked ahead, and the lists get a little more "normal" as the grade level increases. There is hope on the horizon, y'all. There is hope.