Murderous Rage

There's a business not too far from my house with a banner outside. The banner reads:

We will beat
all competitors
tire prices

This banner brings out a murderous rage that only a fellow English/Language Arts teacher would understand. We try and we try and we try, but in the end, it doesn't always matter. Somehow, someway, that one kid who slipped through the apostrophe crack managed to get whatever position at this company that's in charge of getting banners to display out front. I should mention that this is a national company with numerous stores, not some mom-and-pop set up at the corner of Isolated and Nowhere.And this banner is HUGE.

What I want to do is sneak out there in the middle of the night with a ladder and a can of paint. There are two things stopping me: 1) I would get caught because my mama didn't raise me to be a vandal and 2) I'm really, really lazy and don't like staying up late or getting up early.

For now, I will give this business the evil eye each time I go by. I will also, now and forever, believe that these people are idiots who are killing the English language one left-out apostrophe at a time. (This might be a mean statement, but they are advertising themselves as such with that giant, idiotic banner. Really, people, grammar-check your orders!)