Future Prediction

Like any good educator, I hate lockers. They are obnoxious noise-makers that breed congregating and lolly-gagging. They are pits of darkness that suck up homework assignments, binders, and library books. They are waste receptacles and a good place to stash the stuff you don't want adults to see.

However, while I hate them, there are students who should fear them. These students are usually immature and irritate their peers beyond all reason. They are the students who are going to end up in a locker.

Bradley is one such student. He is incredibly immature for an 8th grader. He whines and moans and asks questions just for the sake of hearing his own voice. But if I think he's annoying, his peers barely tolerate him, and the line between tolerance and fed up is getting thinner and thinner. He plays pranks that a 3rd grader would find amusing ... sweeping kids' feet so they trip, pulling out chairs, hiding backpacks, etc. His peers made the mistake of laughing the first few times, and now they have created a monster they can't get rid of.

So, I would like to lock in my prediction for Bradley's future at his high school: sometime before he graduates, Bradley will end up in a locker.

There is a legendary tale at my school of a student who would do things like shove other kids into the walls in between classes then run into the teachers' lounge crying about the big bully who was trying to hurt him. The other students could not stand this kid. One afternoon a teacher was walking down the deserted halls when he heard Darth-Vadar-like breathing coming from a locker. Someone had gotten so tired of this kid's shenanigans that he shoved him into the nearest open locker, slammed it shut, and snapped the lock closed. Administration had to track down bolt cutters to get this kid out.

Therefore, Bradley, I am pleading with you directly. Mature some over the summer. Realize that the seniors will find you even less funny than your immediate peers. They will not hesitate to stash you away in someone's personal waste receptacle. And if you're lucky, they will be kind and make it a full-sized locker.