Calling Him a World "Leader" Might be Pushing It

I have a student who shares a first name, but not a last name, with Mr. Castro. That's right ... that Mr. Castro ... the former dictator of Cuba.

This student asked to go to the nurse, so I wrote him a pass and sent him on his way. When he came back, he handed me the now revised pass. Guess what name I wrote on the pass?

Sadly, with my lack-of-sleep brain, I can almost guarantee this won't be the last time this happens.

Devolving

Sometimes I feel our actions as teachers do not meet the expectations we have of our students. Some examples:

1. A teacher walks her students in a line through the school. She is at the head of the line, and they are all trailing behind her like ducklings following their mama. Can the expectation be that the students will walk in a straight line, silently, with their limbs to themselves?
2. A teacher assigns group work to the class, then sits down behind her desk to grade papers. Can the expectation be that the students will stay on topic and complete the work?
3. A teacher doesn't have a consequence for students who are tardy because she feels that sometimes the kids just need a little slack. Can the expectation be that the students will not abuse this policy, coming to class on time the majority of the time?

If the expectation is that a middle school student will monitor his own behavior and actions and do what is right just because, then the student is being set up for failure. Middle school students are just not wired that way ... it's not in their nature to police themselves. They, bless their hearts, cannot be trusted to do anything remotely responsible without an insane amount of supervision. They are all on the verge of devolving into a chaotic mess of wind, words, dust, and paper similar to the Tasmanian devil that annoyed Bugs Bunny. Only the watchful, hawk-like eyes of a teacher can curb this whirlwind of crazy.

You can try to trust them to walk down a hallway and not push their "friends" into the trashcans or try to knock the clocks off the walls, but the temptation is too great, and you're not looking, so there's no reason not to do these things.

You can hope they will care enough about their class grade to focus on the work and try their best, but this is an instant gratification generation. They get nothing out of doing this assignment right NOW; the grade comes later, and the report card even later than that. They don't see the consequence because it's too far away.

You can try to cut them some slack, but tomorrow they'll see how much more slack they can get out of you. Give them an inch, they'll try for a mile.

My students will tell you that I am "mean." The discipline plan kicks in on the second day of school: you will behave in the hallways, even if we have to walk side-by-side like best friends shopping at the mall; you will use class time for work time, even if I have to hover over your desk and eavesdrop on your group discussions for the entire 30 minutes; you will be held accountable for evey single time you are late to my class. Yes, I am very mean, and I like being this way.

After a few days, I can shift my focus from establishing my meanness to teaching my class because I have fewer discipline problems. They stop testing boundries because they have found that the boundries aren't that far away and are fortified with a refusal on my part to back down. 

And the kids ... they evolve back into the responsible kids I know they can be when they know someone is watching them like a hawk.

Everyone wins.

Mug Shots, Driver's License Photos, and Yearbook Pictures: Proof I Existed I'd Like to Burn

School has started, and this year is shaping up to be pretty awesome. We have a brand new administrative team who is so on top of things it's frightening ... and wonderful. I am back in my element teaching only 8th grade classes (Can I get a hallelujah on not having 7th graders?!?). And I keep bracing myself for my students to turn into soul-sucking piranhas, but so far not even a little bit ... which is a little unsettling, like waiting for the ambush you know is coming.

With the first days of school come several standard "housekeeping" items. We have Camp Viking where the students get all the school-wide rules and expectations in one day. We have schedule changes and classes getting leveled (balanced). We also have super-torture time Picture Day.

Picture Day happens early on my campus because these are the pictures that will be on the students' ID cards. They are also the pictures that will be in the yearbook, so the students are allowed to wear casual clothes that day. This was hilarious. It was so fun to see what the students chose to wear when told they could ditch the uniform for the day. This year the girls all jumped in a time machine and went back to the 80s. The color scheme has changed (there are still the neons, but they are accent colors and not the entire outfit), but the style is still truly outrageous! Tight leggings layered with skirts and high-top sneakers. Shirts with wide collars hanging off of one shoulder with a tank top peeking out. Teased up, crimped hair. It. Was. Awesome. It was like looking at all of my friends from elementary school. It brought back memories, both good and bad, and made me glad that I had enough sense to leave the 80s alone and wear clothes that don't make me look like an extra in Flashdance because it was horrible enough the first time. The boys wore jeans and graphic tees ... BOR-ING! At least the girls made it possible to believe that today was some kind of dress-up-in-the-fashion-of-a-specific-decade spirit day. The girls won Picture Day by far.

Unfortunately, Picture Day is not a privilege reserved for just the students.We teachers must get our mug shots pictures taken as well. If we do not, our yearbook teacher had threatened to take last year's picture, Photoshop a huge beard on it, and publish that in the yearbook. So yeah, I was down there, cursing the camera and wishing I could avoid it all. Luckily for me, the company that did our pictures is amazing, and they let me preview and veto four shots before finally approving the fifth. That's right ... I'm a yearbook picture diva, and you would be, too, if you taught middle school! Don't judge me ... they do that enough without your help, thank you very much.

I could write some philosophical mess about how I appreciate my good pictures more because of the bad ones, but really I don't. The bad ones should be burned ... along with my DL picture and any future mug shots I might have. I want to be remembered as awesome, and you just can't do that with a bad picture forever on page 54 of the school yearbook.

The Professionals Keep My Family Together

There are two things I know I could never do: be a stay at home mom and/or a home school teacher.

I realize that true stay at home moms have schedules, and they have their kids in activities, and they plan things to do with their kids to keep everyone from going crazy. This is in direct contrast to the helter-skelterness of summer at home with my kids. I rarely have anything planned in advance ... we just do what we do when we do it ... so we spend a lot of time bored and driving each other to distraction. This is because I am too lazy to "make plans." I spend all year planning lessons down to the smallest of details, so I really just want to stare at walls during the summer ... and read Young Adult novels ... which is a whole other post.

My second item is really about being allowed to keep my own children. I get insanely frustrated when I am trying to teach my own kids something because I know them. I know what my kids are capable of, so I get frustrated when they wont't focus and do it. I know when my kids are rushing through something because they want to go watch TV or whatever, so I get frustrated they aren't taking it seriously. Then I'm using a stern voice, and they are crying, and I'm telling them to just do it, and no one is having any fun, and now they hate school and learning. And I'm sure turning my own children off of learning goes against some teacher-like Hippocratic oath I had to take my first year teaching, resulting in the immediate revocation of my teaching certificate. Then we all starve and lose the house and CPS takes my kids away. Lovely.

I know my limits. I can put up with 120 14-year-old crazies in the midst of hormone changes and middle school drama. I can have (nearly) endless patience for their questions and their comments and their attempts to throw the entire class off-task. But when it comes to my own kids, I am a mess. So I leave it to the professionals to teach them the academic stuff and keep them entertained during the 9 1/2 months that are the school year. It's the least I can do for my family.

The Silver Lining

At this very moment, one of my children is about to be in trouble. They tag-team it, you know? The boy will be doing something crazy, and just as I get him situated, the girl will start in, and then the boy revs back up just as I get the girl's eyes realigned from the eye-roll she thought I couldn't see. In fact, from the time they recover from the post-nap zone-out until they fall asleep, I feel like I am a crazy, obnoxious mom, getting onto them in a continuous stream of correcting and negativity. It's not a good feeling. Is it me? Is it them? Is it the time of day?

My theory is twofold: 1) they are going stir crazy. It's hot here ... SPF 600 hot. We spend a lot of time indoors (which means at home because this is a house of educators so we do things on a budget) looking at each other and wishing it was cooler. 2) We spend so much time together that we start to lose an appreciation for being together.

I try to address the first problem with movies, crafts, games, music, trips to the park before it gets too hot, etc., but we can only do so much together before someone ignites a flame of annoyance and no one is happy. I hate it when they have been inside all day, and the indoors gets rowdy, but I try to be a little loose on the rules as I know they are bored. Of course, it's all fun and games until someone gets their hand slammed in the door or body-checked into the wall. Incidents like that happen almost daily, and make rough endings for days that started off pretty smoothly.

Really the only way to address the second problem is to spend time apart, and that happens when school starts up again in two weeks. My husband and I will be away from our kids all day, so we can appreciate them and all their little crazies. The girl will get a chance to interact with other kids as she is starting kindergarten, and that socialization is something that she desperately needs. The boy will get time with his cousin and his Meemaw, and time away from his sister which is always good ... it goes back to the appreciation thing. 

School starting will save the sanity of everyone. While the hubs and I will miss my kids ... A LOT ... when we go back, each of us will have something to do to keep us occupied, and we can better appreciate how blessed we are to be a family. Even if I'm not ready to go back and work, I am ready for that part of going back to school.

The School Supply Test

My oldest is starting kindergarten this year, so I am venturing into the land of school supplies. Holy cow, people! Holy. Cow.

I picked up my kid's school supply list, and about fell over. In addition to the pencils and glue I remember, I need three different types of construction paper in multiple sizes for each, Ziploc baggies, and hand sanitizer. These are the three things that I cannot wrap my mind around.

Let's start with the construction paper, shall we? I understand that small children need construction paper, and lots of it, but the variety is killing me. Is it too simple for me to just buy construction paper ... normal sized? I didn't even know that there were that many sizes of construction paper. Does 12x20 even exist? It's enough to make me crazy! I shouldn't have to go to an art supply store to get supplies for my kindergartner. Maybe it's a test for me as a parent. Like, if I actually track all this stuff down, do they know I'll be a sucker for putting together flip books or prepping egg cartons for a ladybug craft or something? "Hey, Sharon, this mom found everything! Even the impossible it's-only-available-from-Europe-on-special-order 12x20 inch multi-colored construction paper which includes the hard-to-find magenta paper! Call her ... we need 100 dozen gluten-free, nut-free cookies for our back-to-school bash .. tomorrow!" Ugh ... maybe I should lower the bar just a little. I'm onto your trick, kindergarten teachers, and I'm not falling for it. You'll get your paper, but it will be a slightly off 12x18 instead. That way you'll know that I'm willing to help out, but not on an Overachieving Mom level.

Next up ...Ziplock baggies. I'm very confused by this one. Maybe an elementary teacher can clue me in because while I understand needing a box or two for the year, why in the world do you need 20 boxes? What could you possibly be planning to do with that many gallon-sized Ziplock bags? I'm trying to come up with a list of things, but I've only been able to think of one: you are going to send home the students' crafts all nestled in a protective barrier. I'll tell ya' what ... my kid won't bring bags, and I'll sign a waiver recognizing that there may be some collateral damage to her crafts projects between the classroom and my car ... crushing incidents, leaking thermos, rips ... I'll risk it.

Finally, hand sanitizer. I recognize that kids are gross, messy, sticky, dirty, germy creatures. I have two of them ... they are disgusting, and I can only imagine what horrors they are carrying around on their nasty little hands. I understand the need to own copious amounts of anything anti-bacterial with all those icky kids running around. But 40 bottles?!?! You need 40 bottles? I'm thinking 5 for the year. Put out a call to PTA or give a list of "a few extra things I wish I had" to the parents at meet the teacher night. I'll be one of five parents who gets you a big ol' bottle, but I'm a little weirded out by the 40 bottles you want. What, exactly, are you planning on doing - bathing the kids in it? It's a little disturbing.

I've looked ahead, and the lists get a little more "normal" as the grade level increases. There is hope on the horizon, y'all. There is hope.

... and the livin' is easy.

Summertime. Two and a half whole months to do whatever I want. I have been reading, taking naps, getting projects done, relaxing ... your typical teacher-on-break summer activities.

Ha ha! I wish! First off, I have two small kids, so I hardly get to read or relax. We have been to several parks, including one that has a splash pad and one that is brand new and is pretty much the coolest park we have ever seen. We have been to the grandparents house to swim. We have been to the library, played Monopoly Jr. and Hi Ho Cherry-O more times than I care to count, made cookies, went on walks, rode bikes, watched fireworks, gone camping, watched movies, and spent a little time in time out (because everyone has off-moments). This stuff I don't mind. A small part of why I became a teacher was so that when I did have kids, we could spend summers together. I take advantage of that as much as possible. In fact, right now, I have a wee one trying to climb into my lap, telling me he wants to "carry you." I think he wants me to carry him, but he always gets that backward. :) I gladly sacrifice reading and relaxing for fun-time with the kiddos.

Second, my friend and I organized a Craft Show to benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation because we both have a child with type 1 diabetes. While I fully admit that she did a LOT of the work, it was exhausting doing less work and being her cheerleader, and right now I don't even want to see another vendor or craft ... ever. We did raise just under $1,200 for research into the prevention, treatment, and a cure for diabetes. It kind of makes me feel good, so I'm sure by January I'll be all excited again, the exhaustion of this year forgotten.

Lastly, teachers don't really have the summer off no matter how many kids or craft shows they have. I took a professional development class that was two weeks long. I admit that I went into it kicking and screaming, but it was, hands down, the best professional development I have ever attended ... better even that Penny Kittle, and that says a lot because she is my hero! I'm so glad I did it, but that was two weeks out of my summer. I have spent another two weeks and counting working on curriculum for my district. I have come to realize that writing curriculum is the most difficult thing I have done as a professional. Part of it is because I am so OCD about things that I am constantly looking back at previous lessons to make sure everything is flowing and written in the same manner. That is something that could be done in editing, but noooooo, I feel like I have to catch it now (which makes me a hyprocrite because I am not practicing what I preach to my students). The other part is the constant voice on my shoulder asking me if what I'm writing is really as good as I think it is, or how I think other teachers will react to my curriculum. Ugh ... she has to shut up or I'm never going to get anything done! Six lessons to go ... no wait, eight, because after my two week class, there are now two more lessons I want to add. Maybe that class was too good.

I want to spend the last three weeks with my family, so my goal is to get these last lessons written today. That would be glorious. Three weeks to hang out together and do family-fun things. That way, we'll be good and sick of each other when school starts. Maybe I won't be weepy-sad about going back to school this way. Maybe I'll just be kind of sad.


But even if I wasn't taking classes or writing curriculum, I would be thinking about school and planning for school in some way. Heck, I had plans before I even left for the year! (Thank goodness for Post-it Notes, or I'd never remember anything and make myself crazy.) So while others can relax and read, my mind is constantly working, thinking about ways to make my teaching life easier/their learning easier/things run more smoothly/my point clearer/ etc. I love summer ... there is just so much to do!