December 14

It is difficult to react or to respond to something as senseless as violence against children. I have a child in kindergarten - she is sitting there at this very moment - and the news coming out of Connecticut makes me physically ill. I will never understand what makes a person harm others, but especially innocent children. I feel for the parents who have lost their babies, for the parents who have to put their tramatized children back together again, and for a commuity which will need to be "normal" again long before they are ready to be.

I have the urge to hide under the covers, bringing my two kiddos with me, forever. I will definately be hugging them extra hard today.

Respect, you older ones.

We've been working with theme in my classroom, and all this work culminates in them discovering the themes in the novels they have self-selected to read. I have to say that grading their themes makes me ridiculously happy, if only because of the awesomeness I get to read.

Teens' brains, especially young teens, operate on a completely different level of reality than a normal human brain. They are, I promise, their own species wrapped in ridiculous nightmares fun crazy. The following are actual themes written by actual teens. I did not change them or correct them ... they are pure thoughts of life-lessons the reader can learn from the story straight from the minds of teens. They are in no particular order.

To be loved is more than words
I had a difficult time typing this because it could have also read To beloved is more than words. Either way, I giggled. She sounds so poetic, so wise, so cliché... it's awesome. Too bad neither version makes total sense.

Don't trust something about someone saying you are ...
Clearly this student didn't have any idea where he was going ...

Never go into the woods full speed on a snow mobil
This is excellent advice, y'all. Take heed!

Never be seen if you are a spy
James Bond strolls into a casino, MI6 written all over his cocky walk, like he owns the place, drawing all kinds of attention to himself by hooking up with the hottest yet most high-maintenance girl he can get to. I'm gonna go with James's way ... it's so much cooler.

Sometimes you try to hard to attempt it.
Unless she is referring to a social situation, I'm not sure what she's talking about.

in a post-apolyptic world, you would not find supplies easily, you would have to be brave.
In a post-The Hunger Games world, there are a lot of new post-apocolyptic novels out there. But this is my first encounter with a "post-apolyptic" novel. Sounds interesting.
Also, I forgave all grammar and spelling mistakes because this kiddo remembered his hypen, and whether he copied it from the book or not doesn't matter to me because he has demonstrated that he is terrible at copying words from a book, but he still got the hypen!

Respect you older ones.
Of course this student forgot a comma. It should read Respect, you older ones.
I imagine a 90s era hero tapping his chest twice with his fist as he demands respect from "older ones." Word, yo!

Substitutes and Threats

It's 10am on a Thursday, and I am home with one sick kid and one bored, stir-crazy kid. So far this week I have missed two days of school, and before Tuesday, I will miss another day and a half because the girl is getting an insulin pump. (Whoot! Whoot!)

Yesterday I broke the news to my double blocked (read: I have them for two straight hours), low babies that I would possibly not see them again until Tuesday, and I could see it: the maniacal gleam in their eyes that screams, "SUBSTITUTE! For three days!!" I'm pretty sure I laughed a small, hysterical laugh as I realized that some unsuspecting substitute was about to be pushed to the brink of insanity.

I have a high regard for substitutes  They enter a classroom, get about 30 minutes to familiarize themselves with a plan which may require anything from monitoring a test to teaching a full-on lesson, and start greeting classes, which may or may not be full of total jerks. While some are horrible (I had one poke a student with a cane, another throw her keys at the kids' heads to get their attention, and one who fell asleep), most are fantastic teachers who really do deserve their own classroom, and they put up with a lot of crap from a roomful of kids.

So I spent the next ten minutes laying out clear, non-negotiable expectations for their behavior over the next three days, threatening them within an inch of their existence if they didn't behave, and reminding them that substitutes are temporary ... my return is always eminent, my punishments always matching the crime. The gleam dimmed, but I always worry when it doesn't totally go away. If the sub has my personality, she should be fine. Otherwise, it may be ugly on Tuesday ...

An Open Letter to a Student

Dear Student-
You have committed so many indiscretions lately that you are unsure why you are being called to the assistant principal's office. Perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your choices in life. Maybe that's just me talking (I mean, what do I know? I'm in my 30s!!!), but I would think it was time for some heart-to-heart talking with myself if I were in your shoes. Here are some suggestions I have for how you could better use your free time:

1. Read a book
2. Study for a quiz
3. Do a crossword puzzle
4. Try to solve the issue of world hunger
5. Help a friend with his work (help ... don't give answers!)
6. Count the tiny holes in the ceiling
7. Complete some of your homework
8. Plan out your schedule for how you're going to get all of your end-of-grading-period projects done
9. Write a letter to the president airing out a grievance
10. Translate the pledge of allegiance into another language

Love,
Mrs. Edwards

"I cannot go to school today ..."

As a parent with a kiddo in school, I get the temptation to send kids to school despite their illnesses. It's difficult to take off from work, especially to stay home with a kid who seems well. Last week my munchkin had pink eye in both eyes, but not on the same day, which resulted in her staying home two days while it cleared up. Totally fun, right? No ... especially when, for all intents and purposes, she was perfectly fine, playing with her brother outside and everything. But let's consider some things, shall we?

First, there is a reason doctors have reccommended that schools not allow students back until the fever has been gone for 24 hours - those kids are still contagious! And now you have sent him to school. Yes, your kid has been fever-free since six this morning, but he is still wallowing in a cess pool of whatever virus caused the fever in the first place, and now he will spread that cess poolness all over the campus resulting in multiple kids getting it. Their parents will probably make the same choice you did, and now it's a campus-wide problem of colds, coughs, and fevers. You have successfully turned your kid into the monkey from Outbreak. Fantastic.

Second, there are children at school with your child who are affected more by illness than most kids. I can speak first-hand about type 1 diabtes, which is an autoimmune disease. Since my kid's immune system is already out of whack, when she gets sick, it goes completely whack-o. She has been hospitalized by strep throat - strep throat, people - because it made her diabetes freak out. I can say that personally, I would be beyond angry if I found out the parent of the kid who got my child sick knowingly sent their child to school sick so they wouldn't have to miss work. Thanks ... now I owe the hospital several thousand dollars, all so you wouldn't have to use a sick day. And diabetes isn't the only disease that causes problems when a child gets ill, so think about those ramifications before you stuff contraband cough drops and Tylenol and travel-sized Kleenex into your kid's bag and drop him off at the front door of the building (without a kiss good-by, of course ... wouldn't want to get sick yourself).

Finally, your kid has been sick. I know kids bounce back quickly, but shouldn't your kid get time to rest and heal before sending him back out into the world? He spends the day tired, run down, and generally in a half-coma anyway, so what have you accomplished? Nothing ... your kid learned nothing today. He could have been at home sleeping off his illness and learning nothing, but hey, he'll get a perfect attendance award at the end-of-year ceremony. Score!

I know we're not all like this. I know most of us keep our kids home when they are sick, but I think we'd have to keep them home less if other parents kept their kids home more. I just kills me when a kid walks in my classroom, obviously ill, and lets me know his mom realized he was sick, but said he had to go to school anyway. No amount of hand sanitizer can make me feel like I'm not covered in snot germs for the rest of the day. And what if I don't get sick, but I take it home and give it to my diabeteic? No one wins, here ... except that kid's parents who are at work instead of nursing a sick kiddo back to good health and my pediatrician and/or local ER who will profit off of me having to take my kid in because of the aforementioned complications with diabetes.

So do you know what the teachers in your kids' lives really want for Christmas? Hand sanitizer ... lots and lots of hand sanitizer ... industiral-sized bottles of the stuff. And Kleenex. The good kind. Not the kind that scratch and are so thin you might as well blow your nose into your hand 'cause your fingers come away damp. The thick, soft kind that carresses your sore nose and keeps your fingers dry. Because as long as kids knowingly come to school sick, they will have to fight the good fight against snot germs.

And I'll pledge here and now to keep my sick kid at home so that I am not one of "those" parents.

You're welcome :)

The Fog

My students are learning that mimicing good writing is a great way to improve their own writing skills. We started small with some poetry. Here are some of my favorite mimcs of The Fog by Carl Sandburg:

Dust drifts like snow
the dark clouds in the
dark and windy sky.

It feels like a
tornado
but dust, endless, timeless,
covers everything with dust.
_______________________________

Fake friends are
like shadows.

Always found on
those bright,
sunny days.
Never found
on the dark
stormy ones.
_________________________________

RAIN
The rain collects
and pierces the sky
then dances along
the floof
like a delicate drum beat
only to fade once more.
_________________________________

This one doesn't mimic The Fog, but this student was clearly a little frustrated with this assignment/some drama in his life, so he did his own thing:

I hate when people act fake.
Can they chill out and have some cake?
God, they give me a headache.
Oh, for goodness sake!




Getting a glance at their creative sides is one of the best part of my jobs.

Calling Him a World "Leader" Might be Pushing It

I have a student who shares a first name, but not a last name, with Mr. Castro. That's right ... that Mr. Castro ... the former dictator of Cuba.

This student asked to go to the nurse, so I wrote him a pass and sent him on his way. When he came back, he handed me the now revised pass. Guess what name I wrote on the pass?

Sadly, with my lack-of-sleep brain, I can almost guarantee this won't be the last time this happens.

Devolving

Sometimes I feel our actions as teachers do not meet the expectations we have of our students. Some examples:

1. A teacher walks her students in a line through the school. She is at the head of the line, and they are all trailing behind her like ducklings following their mama. Can the expectation be that the students will walk in a straight line, silently, with their limbs to themselves?
2. A teacher assigns group work to the class, then sits down behind her desk to grade papers. Can the expectation be that the students will stay on topic and complete the work?
3. A teacher doesn't have a consequence for students who are tardy because she feels that sometimes the kids just need a little slack. Can the expectation be that the students will not abuse this policy, coming to class on time the majority of the time?

If the expectation is that a middle school student will monitor his own behavior and actions and do what is right just because, then the student is being set up for failure. Middle school students are just not wired that way ... it's not in their nature to police themselves. They, bless their hearts, cannot be trusted to do anything remotely responsible without an insane amount of supervision. They are all on the verge of devolving into a chaotic mess of wind, words, dust, and paper similar to the Tasmanian devil that annoyed Bugs Bunny. Only the watchful, hawk-like eyes of a teacher can curb this whirlwind of crazy.

You can try to trust them to walk down a hallway and not push their "friends" into the trashcans or try to knock the clocks off the walls, but the temptation is too great, and you're not looking, so there's no reason not to do these things.

You can hope they will care enough about their class grade to focus on the work and try their best, but this is an instant gratification generation. They get nothing out of doing this assignment right NOW; the grade comes later, and the report card even later than that. They don't see the consequence because it's too far away.

You can try to cut them some slack, but tomorrow they'll see how much more slack they can get out of you. Give them an inch, they'll try for a mile.

My students will tell you that I am "mean." The discipline plan kicks in on the second day of school: you will behave in the hallways, even if we have to walk side-by-side like best friends shopping at the mall; you will use class time for work time, even if I have to hover over your desk and eavesdrop on your group discussions for the entire 30 minutes; you will be held accountable for evey single time you are late to my class. Yes, I am very mean, and I like being this way.

After a few days, I can shift my focus from establishing my meanness to teaching my class because I have fewer discipline problems. They stop testing boundries because they have found that the boundries aren't that far away and are fortified with a refusal on my part to back down. 

And the kids ... they evolve back into the responsible kids I know they can be when they know someone is watching them like a hawk.

Everyone wins.

Mug Shots, Driver's License Photos, and Yearbook Pictures: Proof I Existed I'd Like to Burn

School has started, and this year is shaping up to be pretty awesome. We have a brand new administrative team who is so on top of things it's frightening ... and wonderful. I am back in my element teaching only 8th grade classes (Can I get a hallelujah on not having 7th graders?!?). And I keep bracing myself for my students to turn into soul-sucking piranhas, but so far not even a little bit ... which is a little unsettling, like waiting for the ambush you know is coming.

With the first days of school come several standard "housekeeping" items. We have Camp Viking where the students get all the school-wide rules and expectations in one day. We have schedule changes and classes getting leveled (balanced). We also have super-torture time Picture Day.

Picture Day happens early on my campus because these are the pictures that will be on the students' ID cards. They are also the pictures that will be in the yearbook, so the students are allowed to wear casual clothes that day. This was hilarious. It was so fun to see what the students chose to wear when told they could ditch the uniform for the day. This year the girls all jumped in a time machine and went back to the 80s. The color scheme has changed (there are still the neons, but they are accent colors and not the entire outfit), but the style is still truly outrageous! Tight leggings layered with skirts and high-top sneakers. Shirts with wide collars hanging off of one shoulder with a tank top peeking out. Teased up, crimped hair. It. Was. Awesome. It was like looking at all of my friends from elementary school. It brought back memories, both good and bad, and made me glad that I had enough sense to leave the 80s alone and wear clothes that don't make me look like an extra in Flashdance because it was horrible enough the first time. The boys wore jeans and graphic tees ... BOR-ING! At least the girls made it possible to believe that today was some kind of dress-up-in-the-fashion-of-a-specific-decade spirit day. The girls won Picture Day by far.

Unfortunately, Picture Day is not a privilege reserved for just the students.We teachers must get our mug shots pictures taken as well. If we do not, our yearbook teacher had threatened to take last year's picture, Photoshop a huge beard on it, and publish that in the yearbook. So yeah, I was down there, cursing the camera and wishing I could avoid it all. Luckily for me, the company that did our pictures is amazing, and they let me preview and veto four shots before finally approving the fifth. That's right ... I'm a yearbook picture diva, and you would be, too, if you taught middle school! Don't judge me ... they do that enough without your help, thank you very much.

I could write some philosophical mess about how I appreciate my good pictures more because of the bad ones, but really I don't. The bad ones should be burned ... along with my DL picture and any future mug shots I might have. I want to be remembered as awesome, and you just can't do that with a bad picture forever on page 54 of the school yearbook.

The Professionals Keep My Family Together

There are two things I know I could never do: be a stay at home mom and/or a home school teacher.

I realize that true stay at home moms have schedules, and they have their kids in activities, and they plan things to do with their kids to keep everyone from going crazy. This is in direct contrast to the helter-skelterness of summer at home with my kids. I rarely have anything planned in advance ... we just do what we do when we do it ... so we spend a lot of time bored and driving each other to distraction. This is because I am too lazy to "make plans." I spend all year planning lessons down to the smallest of details, so I really just want to stare at walls during the summer ... and read Young Adult novels ... which is a whole other post.

My second item is really about being allowed to keep my own children. I get insanely frustrated when I am trying to teach my own kids something because I know them. I know what my kids are capable of, so I get frustrated when they wont't focus and do it. I know when my kids are rushing through something because they want to go watch TV or whatever, so I get frustrated they aren't taking it seriously. Then I'm using a stern voice, and they are crying, and I'm telling them to just do it, and no one is having any fun, and now they hate school and learning. And I'm sure turning my own children off of learning goes against some teacher-like Hippocratic oath I had to take my first year teaching, resulting in the immediate revocation of my teaching certificate. Then we all starve and lose the house and CPS takes my kids away. Lovely.

I know my limits. I can put up with 120 14-year-old crazies in the midst of hormone changes and middle school drama. I can have (nearly) endless patience for their questions and their comments and their attempts to throw the entire class off-task. But when it comes to my own kids, I am a mess. So I leave it to the professionals to teach them the academic stuff and keep them entertained during the 9 1/2 months that are the school year. It's the least I can do for my family.

The Silver Lining

At this very moment, one of my children is about to be in trouble. They tag-team it, you know? The boy will be doing something crazy, and just as I get him situated, the girl will start in, and then the boy revs back up just as I get the girl's eyes realigned from the eye-roll she thought I couldn't see. In fact, from the time they recover from the post-nap zone-out until they fall asleep, I feel like I am a crazy, obnoxious mom, getting onto them in a continuous stream of correcting and negativity. It's not a good feeling. Is it me? Is it them? Is it the time of day?

My theory is twofold: 1) they are going stir crazy. It's hot here ... SPF 600 hot. We spend a lot of time indoors (which means at home because this is a house of educators so we do things on a budget) looking at each other and wishing it was cooler. 2) We spend so much time together that we start to lose an appreciation for being together.

I try to address the first problem with movies, crafts, games, music, trips to the park before it gets too hot, etc., but we can only do so much together before someone ignites a flame of annoyance and no one is happy. I hate it when they have been inside all day, and the indoors gets rowdy, but I try to be a little loose on the rules as I know they are bored. Of course, it's all fun and games until someone gets their hand slammed in the door or body-checked into the wall. Incidents like that happen almost daily, and make rough endings for days that started off pretty smoothly.

Really the only way to address the second problem is to spend time apart, and that happens when school starts up again in two weeks. My husband and I will be away from our kids all day, so we can appreciate them and all their little crazies. The girl will get a chance to interact with other kids as she is starting kindergarten, and that socialization is something that she desperately needs. The boy will get time with his cousin and his Meemaw, and time away from his sister which is always good ... it goes back to the appreciation thing. 

School starting will save the sanity of everyone. While the hubs and I will miss my kids ... A LOT ... when we go back, each of us will have something to do to keep us occupied, and we can better appreciate how blessed we are to be a family. Even if I'm not ready to go back and work, I am ready for that part of going back to school.

The School Supply Test

My oldest is starting kindergarten this year, so I am venturing into the land of school supplies. Holy cow, people! Holy. Cow.

I picked up my kid's school supply list, and about fell over. In addition to the pencils and glue I remember, I need three different types of construction paper in multiple sizes for each, Ziploc baggies, and hand sanitizer. These are the three things that I cannot wrap my mind around.

Let's start with the construction paper, shall we? I understand that small children need construction paper, and lots of it, but the variety is killing me. Is it too simple for me to just buy construction paper ... normal sized? I didn't even know that there were that many sizes of construction paper. Does 12x20 even exist? It's enough to make me crazy! I shouldn't have to go to an art supply store to get supplies for my kindergartner. Maybe it's a test for me as a parent. Like, if I actually track all this stuff down, do they know I'll be a sucker for putting together flip books or prepping egg cartons for a ladybug craft or something? "Hey, Sharon, this mom found everything! Even the impossible it's-only-available-from-Europe-on-special-order 12x20 inch multi-colored construction paper which includes the hard-to-find magenta paper! Call her ... we need 100 dozen gluten-free, nut-free cookies for our back-to-school bash .. tomorrow!" Ugh ... maybe I should lower the bar just a little. I'm onto your trick, kindergarten teachers, and I'm not falling for it. You'll get your paper, but it will be a slightly off 12x18 instead. That way you'll know that I'm willing to help out, but not on an Overachieving Mom level.

Next up ...Ziplock baggies. I'm very confused by this one. Maybe an elementary teacher can clue me in because while I understand needing a box or two for the year, why in the world do you need 20 boxes? What could you possibly be planning to do with that many gallon-sized Ziplock bags? I'm trying to come up with a list of things, but I've only been able to think of one: you are going to send home the students' crafts all nestled in a protective barrier. I'll tell ya' what ... my kid won't bring bags, and I'll sign a waiver recognizing that there may be some collateral damage to her crafts projects between the classroom and my car ... crushing incidents, leaking thermos, rips ... I'll risk it.

Finally, hand sanitizer. I recognize that kids are gross, messy, sticky, dirty, germy creatures. I have two of them ... they are disgusting, and I can only imagine what horrors they are carrying around on their nasty little hands. I understand the need to own copious amounts of anything anti-bacterial with all those icky kids running around. But 40 bottles?!?! You need 40 bottles? I'm thinking 5 for the year. Put out a call to PTA or give a list of "a few extra things I wish I had" to the parents at meet the teacher night. I'll be one of five parents who gets you a big ol' bottle, but I'm a little weirded out by the 40 bottles you want. What, exactly, are you planning on doing - bathing the kids in it? It's a little disturbing.

I've looked ahead, and the lists get a little more "normal" as the grade level increases. There is hope on the horizon, y'all. There is hope.

... and the livin' is easy.

Summertime. Two and a half whole months to do whatever I want. I have been reading, taking naps, getting projects done, relaxing ... your typical teacher-on-break summer activities.

Ha ha! I wish! First off, I have two small kids, so I hardly get to read or relax. We have been to several parks, including one that has a splash pad and one that is brand new and is pretty much the coolest park we have ever seen. We have been to the grandparents house to swim. We have been to the library, played Monopoly Jr. and Hi Ho Cherry-O more times than I care to count, made cookies, went on walks, rode bikes, watched fireworks, gone camping, watched movies, and spent a little time in time out (because everyone has off-moments). This stuff I don't mind. A small part of why I became a teacher was so that when I did have kids, we could spend summers together. I take advantage of that as much as possible. In fact, right now, I have a wee one trying to climb into my lap, telling me he wants to "carry you." I think he wants me to carry him, but he always gets that backward. :) I gladly sacrifice reading and relaxing for fun-time with the kiddos.

Second, my friend and I organized a Craft Show to benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation because we both have a child with type 1 diabetes. While I fully admit that she did a LOT of the work, it was exhausting doing less work and being her cheerleader, and right now I don't even want to see another vendor or craft ... ever. We did raise just under $1,200 for research into the prevention, treatment, and a cure for diabetes. It kind of makes me feel good, so I'm sure by January I'll be all excited again, the exhaustion of this year forgotten.

Lastly, teachers don't really have the summer off no matter how many kids or craft shows they have. I took a professional development class that was two weeks long. I admit that I went into it kicking and screaming, but it was, hands down, the best professional development I have ever attended ... better even that Penny Kittle, and that says a lot because she is my hero! I'm so glad I did it, but that was two weeks out of my summer. I have spent another two weeks and counting working on curriculum for my district. I have come to realize that writing curriculum is the most difficult thing I have done as a professional. Part of it is because I am so OCD about things that I am constantly looking back at previous lessons to make sure everything is flowing and written in the same manner. That is something that could be done in editing, but noooooo, I feel like I have to catch it now (which makes me a hyprocrite because I am not practicing what I preach to my students). The other part is the constant voice on my shoulder asking me if what I'm writing is really as good as I think it is, or how I think other teachers will react to my curriculum. Ugh ... she has to shut up or I'm never going to get anything done! Six lessons to go ... no wait, eight, because after my two week class, there are now two more lessons I want to add. Maybe that class was too good.

I want to spend the last three weeks with my family, so my goal is to get these last lessons written today. That would be glorious. Three weeks to hang out together and do family-fun things. That way, we'll be good and sick of each other when school starts. Maybe I won't be weepy-sad about going back to school this way. Maybe I'll just be kind of sad.


But even if I wasn't taking classes or writing curriculum, I would be thinking about school and planning for school in some way. Heck, I had plans before I even left for the year! (Thank goodness for Post-it Notes, or I'd never remember anything and make myself crazy.) So while others can relax and read, my mind is constantly working, thinking about ways to make my teaching life easier/their learning easier/things run more smoothly/my point clearer/ etc. I love summer ... there is just so much to do!

Class of 2016

The last few days of school are always bittersweet. On the one hand, I can hardly keep from shoving them out the door. On the other hand, I lose my eighth graders to high school. They came to me middle school kiddos, and they leave practically grown up. Despite all of the hardships, I'm always proud of them at the end. It's kind of like giving birth ... you forget all the horrible parts and just remember the cute baby at the end. I hope they make something of themselves. I hope they go out into the world and make a difference. I hope they don't live up to their stereotypes. I hope they remember what it feels like to be the punchline in someone's joke and stand up for the little guy. I hope they remember everything I taught them. I hope they get to follow their dreams before they have to be all responsible and adult-like.

But most of all, I hope they find happiness, whatever that may be for them.

Good luck, Class of 2016! I will miss y'all!

What the doodle is this?

Technology. It is amazing. I have software that averages my grades for me (and thank the good Lord for that one because I am completely useless with numbers). There is an online alert system that will automatically email parents when their kids are failing. I have a technology CART with a projector, a CPU, and a document camera along with a Promethean board (it's like a digital dry-erase board and is beyond cool).

With all the technological advances in education, there are times I can't figure something out and my students will show me how it's supposed to go. They are technology freaks! They know how to work it and where to find it. They are reading books in my class on their smart phones and e-readers. The hallways are littered with students who sneak ear buds into their ears and send text messages from bathroom stalls. They love technology. You want to punish a teenager? Take his cell phone; he's got one to take - I promise.

So how do you stump them? What piece of "technology" makes them look at you like, "What the doodle is this thing?" The answer - a telephone.

When a student needs to call home, I hand him my cordless phone. It never fails. He starts dialing the number, and nothing happens, so he tries it again, and still nothing. The third time he pushes the numbers slowly, deliberately, and with a little more force. Then he looks at me like he expects Ashton Kutcher to jump out and yell something about being punk'd. It's hilarious to watch, and probably one of the few times I get the one-up on these technology junkies. I'll then say something like, "It's a cordless phone, not a cell phone."
"I know!" they reply indignantly, and then continue to stare at the phone.

I do eventually reveal the big secret for working these crazy phones, but I can't say I am super quick about it. These are usually the kids who make me want to rip my hair out, so I admit there is a small amount of satisfaction that comes with watching their cocky sureness dissolve into a quizzical look found only on confused puppies. (I can almost see their ears flopping as their heads cock to the side.)

They are a generation that has become so technologically advanced that they cannot even work a cordless land line. It's kind of like I have a classroom full of Einsteins ... in that they cannot do basic things, not that they are super geniuses. Maybe next week I'll bring in a typewriter and ask them to type their final exam essays. Now that would be an interesting day, don't ya think?

"I typed the sentence and it didn't automatically capitalize the first letter!"
"Where is the spell check button? How am I supposed to know how to spell the words without it?"
"This thing isn't making paragraphs for me!"
"How do I make the title in the middle of the page?"
"Wait. I can't delete what I wrote and change it? It's there forever?! I have to be super careful when typing? Noooooooooooo!"

Yep ... an interesting day indeed.

What I Did

I've been thinking back on my year. It has been a whirlwind of Crazy! New curriculum, new schedule, four classes of seventh graders instead of my normal schedule of eighth graders ... plus I have my own family and the two crazy children who live in my house ... it's a lot. There are many days I can barely drag out of bed, many days I feel guilty for not being a stay-at-home mom, many days when I'm counting down the days to the break. Despite all of that, though, I am one of the lucky ones who loves my job.

I get to watch an entire group of kids mature, grow, and change over the 36 weeks they are in my class. How cool is that? They come so young and weird but leave just a little more mature ... especially my eighth graders. They do a LOT of growing up during that year before high school. Maybe it's being the oldest class, maybe it's the very real light at the end of the middle school tunnel; maybe it's just turning 14 (or ... ahem ... 15). Whatever it is, I don't care. It's neat to watch and a real blessing for their parents.

Everyday I ask 121 students to think. Not to sit in front of a TV. Not to play video games. Not to text with their friends. I get to ask them to really, truly think. I get to frustrate them and irritate them and ask them to do things that would infuriate any adult ... and I get paid to do it. In fact I am encouraged to do it and provided with resources to make sure each day is extra mind-boggling. So. Awesome. If anyone else hounded kids as much as I am encouraged to do everyday they'd be hit with a harassment charge. As a bonus, the next day I get to say something like, "Remember that really hard thing we did yesterday that had you banging your head on the desk? Today we're going to do that again, but now you're going to do it on your own!" Really, it makes me smile because who else gets to do that? Who gets to challenge kids like that. Teachers, that's who. Teachers who give up their Saturdays and weekends to go to performances/games to cheer on kids they didn't even give birth to. Teachers who take care of your kids AND their own kids. Teachers who love what they do, love your kids, and love watching them grow.

And at the end of every year, it's a giant empty nest syndrome. Don't get me wrong; there are some kids I will happily escort out the door on that last day. But most of them make me cry because they move on to high school and get all grown up and I don't even recognize them and they [think] they don't need me anymore. They are brand new people. And I had a hand in that ... even if only for a moment.

For Your Consideration

I've decided that this year I will give my students a parting gift. I totally borrowed Mrs. Daulton's idea of the bookmark. I want them to read this summer, and I'm hoping that this will serve as a subtle reminder. To further this purpose, I am putting a list of five books on the front that I'm encouraging the students to read before they start school in the fall.

Young Adult books can be enjoyed by adults as well. They are good for a quick read, and many well-known adult authors, James Patterson, for example, write YA books. YA is also divided into two categories: 4-7 grade and 8-12 grade. While the 4-7 stuff can be a whip down, the 8-12 stuff tends to be very adult in nature. Generally classified as "Teen", these books can hold the attention of an adult looking for something fun to read. The Hunger Games, for example, is "Teen".

You'll notice that lacking are some of the super-popular books, like Harry Potter or The Hunger Games. This is because most students have heard of these books, and they have either read them or already have plans to read them. I wanted to pick books that the students may not have heard of or may not know much about.

So, without further ado, here are my recommendations for 2012:

Night by Eli Wiesel
I am always disturbed by the number of my students who have no idea what the Holocaust is. They may have heard of it, but they have no true grasp of the brutality and suffering that went on in the camps. Wiesel's story is haunting. Violent without being unnecessarily so, it sticks with you for a lifetime.

Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn
While most of her stuff is based on fairy tales, Breathing Underwater goes in a different direction. It is the story of a couple in high school. As their relationship evolves, his true nature comes out. What makes this not your typical abusive relationship story is that it is told through a series of journal entries he writes. Reading his twisted justifications for hitting her is eye-opening. I'm hopeful that if one of my own students finds him/herself in a similar situation, they will recognize some of the warning signs and get out.

Split by Swati Avasthi
This is a novel about what happens after you get out of an abusive home. How do you break the cycle when violence is the only thing you know? This novel looks at that situation, and again, I'm hoping my students will recognize warning signs in their own lives before it gets to be too late. I also want those who may be living in a violent home to realize they can get out and break the cycle.

The Maze Runner by James Dashner
This one is very male centric, and it kind of reminded me of The Lord of the Flies. However, it is a really good story, and unique. The few students who have read it say they can't put it down.

Monster by Walter Dean Myers
This story of a kid who is on trial for murder is a dark look at jail and how it effects your psyche.

Red Rider's Hood by Neal Shusterman
It's a fairy tale revamp, but with gangs and stuff. It's also very dark ... very, very dark.

City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
More for girls, this story appeals to those who liked Twilight but wish the writing had been better. Clare is a much better story teller than Meyer, with more depth to her characters and less gratuitous love-stuff.

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
See the explanation for City of Bones. It's the same justification.

Romiette y Julio by Sharon M. Draper
It's what it sounds like ... a retelling of Romeo and Juliet, with gangs and violence - just like the original. The girls especially dig this book, and it's a great way to introduce them to the idea of Shakespeare without scaring them. Plus, it introduces them to an author that they usually end up liking.

Future Prediction

Like any good educator, I hate lockers. They are obnoxious noise-makers that breed congregating and lolly-gagging. They are pits of darkness that suck up homework assignments, binders, and library books. They are waste receptacles and a good place to stash the stuff you don't want adults to see.

However, while I hate them, there are students who should fear them. These students are usually immature and irritate their peers beyond all reason. They are the students who are going to end up in a locker.

Bradley is one such student. He is incredibly immature for an 8th grader. He whines and moans and asks questions just for the sake of hearing his own voice. But if I think he's annoying, his peers barely tolerate him, and the line between tolerance and fed up is getting thinner and thinner. He plays pranks that a 3rd grader would find amusing ... sweeping kids' feet so they trip, pulling out chairs, hiding backpacks, etc. His peers made the mistake of laughing the first few times, and now they have created a monster they can't get rid of.

So, I would like to lock in my prediction for Bradley's future at his high school: sometime before he graduates, Bradley will end up in a locker.

There is a legendary tale at my school of a student who would do things like shove other kids into the walls in between classes then run into the teachers' lounge crying about the big bully who was trying to hurt him. The other students could not stand this kid. One afternoon a teacher was walking down the deserted halls when he heard Darth-Vadar-like breathing coming from a locker. Someone had gotten so tired of this kid's shenanigans that he shoved him into the nearest open locker, slammed it shut, and snapped the lock closed. Administration had to track down bolt cutters to get this kid out.

Therefore, Bradley, I am pleading with you directly. Mature some over the summer. Realize that the seniors will find you even less funny than your immediate peers. They will not hesitate to stash you away in someone's personal waste receptacle. And if you're lucky, they will be kind and make it a full-sized locker.

Do you get it now?

Reteaching ... it is my nightmare. I have a well-thought-out and planned schedule that I like to follow. My little calendar is all filled out with units and lessons, carefully scheduled around awards ceremonies and state testing, and I don't like to deviate from it. That being stated, there is always the reteach. There is always going to be some kiddo who doesn't get the skill that I need him to get. I never plan for the reteach. By now I should have learned my lesson, but I haven't. So, I could ignore it and move on, hoping he'll get it by osmosis along the way. (That would certainly fit into my planned calendar.) However, this almost always never happens, and I'm under obligation by my district's grading policy to stop and go back ... to RETEACH. This is so not how I wanted to spend the precious little time I have with these babies.

But Jimmy, who answered a question about symbolism with this gem: Mrs. Mallard's heart trouble is a symbol of her heart trouble, needs the opportunity to try again ... but first he has to go through the learning process ... again.

It throws off my whole week.

A Letter to Two Students

Dear Students Running at Break-neck Speed Off Campus-
I can see you because I have giant windows … and because you’re not very ninja about this whole skipping school thing. You should have just gone inside and stayed there, not run around the back yard ... where I can see you ... because of the a fore mentioned giant windows. So, if you’re wondering why you’re sitting in the AP office with the police officer, that’s why.
Love,
Mrs. Edwards